Why I Am Not A People Pleaser & Why You Shouldn't Be Either
How many times have you been told that you shouldn't be a people pleaser or that being a people pleaser is not good. We are often told this, but in a weird way, we are forced to be people pleasers. I learned from a very young age that I was not put on this earth to please others. Now, I am not saying you can't be nice to others and do kind things for others. What I am saying is, don't give of yourself because it will make others happy and you unhappy. So here are all the reasons why I am not a people pleaser and why you shouldn't be either!
1. It's You and You Alone At Night: One of the things about people pleasing is, you often don't feel good after you do it. Whether you did something incredibly kind or not, you still feel a little shitty because you gave up something to do it. Whether that is helping others so much that you don't get your own work done or you have no time to actually do things you want. At the end of the night, you are alone and the thoughts of all the things you didn't get to do rush at you and you feel helpless. And I think that's awful.
2. If You Live By The Approval Of Others You Will Die By Them: I love this saying and I believe in it so much. One of the things people pleasers do is want and sometimes need other's approval. And the thing is, when you strive so hard to make others happy, what it will do is make you unhappy. You strive so hard for people to approve of you, you end up disapproving yourself. This is why people pleasing is so bad because you end up creating the perfect storm of disappoint in yourself that will often turn into resentment of others.
3. You Need To Learn How To Say No: When you are a people pleaser, saying no can be really tough. Because let's face it, people pleasers never say no and they always give in. Exercise your right to say no because when you say no, you open yourself up to saying yes to other things. Things that are more important and things that will bring happiness in your life.
4. You Will Be Unhappy: Personal happiness is so important and I think a lot of people who are people pleasers aren't happy. How can you be happy, when all you do is put yourself and your needs aside to do things for others. And yes, doing kind things for others can bring happiness, but when it is at your own expense, it can bring unhappiness. Balance taking care of yourself and your needs with the people in your life. Balance is often the key to happiness.
5. It's About Taking Care Of Yourself: I think we are often told that we should put others first. But I think it is important to put yourself first and practice self care. Most people pleasers rarely practice self care because they are too busy taking care of everything and everyone except themselves. I will admit, it is hard to just stop being a people pleaser, but I challenge you to take ten minutes out of your day and relax or do something just for you. Then take one night per week, where you do what you want and do something thats brings more happiness in your life.
Remember that you shouldn't be unhappy at the end of each day. Bring more happiness in your life by taking time out for you. Don't look to others to approve of you and what you do. It is also more than ok to say no when something doesn't fit your life or if you don't have time to do it or if you don't want to do it. Learn to be a better person by putting yourself first and taking out time for yourself.
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Are you a people pleaser? Let me know in the comment section!