Tips On Being Positive When Life Sucks
Let’s face it positivity is hard work. Anyone who says being positive is easy and it’s just all about thinking positive thoughts is super annoying. So, this is not the post where I try to convince you to think that being positive, thinking positive, or having positive thoughts is easy because it isn’t. It has been a long road to positivity for me, and I am still working on it. The past couple years have been really tough, from having a massive tumor on my uterus, to having a job that killed my soul, to having my grandmother pass away, to having my dad suffer a massive stroke, and on top of it all, to be single and so broke that there were times; I had no idea where my next meal would come from. Life has not been easy and the thing is, there are so many people who have it way worse. So my journey to being positive really came last fall and it really kicked into gear after I had a huge breakdown on my 27th birthday this January. So, here are five tips that have helped me and five tips that are still helping me.
**As away to bring a smile to your face, I have added all the outtakes from my photoshoot! Hopefully this makes you smile. Also, there is a vlog at the end of this post! Just scroll down to have a watch.**
1. You Got To Let It Go. This is so hard! For so long my story was that, I was the fat, single, poor, tumor filled, ugly, life sucks girl. This was the story I was telling myself every day, everything was poor me, my life sucks, nothing is right, my job sucks; and it got to the point where that was my life. I wasn’t looking at the good things, I was ignoring it and hating it. So I slowly started letting things go one at a time. After I had my surgery, the tumor was no longer a part of my story, instead my story became how I overcame it, how my life is so much better. Here is the thing, write down all the negative things that you have attached yourself to and one by one start the process of letting it go. The best way I did this was by looking on the bright side of all the shitty things that happened to me. This took time and I am still working on it.
2. Don’t Let Other People Get You Down. How often do we let other people’s moods affect our mood? I have learned that even the best people in our lives can have really bad days, that can make us negative. So, what I have decided to do is, not to let other people make me upset and if they do, I have decided to not hold on to it and to let it go. This also goes for people who are anxious. I am an anxious person but I often leave it inside; but we all have friends who wear their anxieties like a hat (this is not a bad thing, everyone has their own way of dealing with anxieties) and sometimes it can have a negative affect on us. Anxiety is a negative emotion, so when you are an anxious person already, try not to let other people’s anxieties become your anxiety.
3. Stand Up For Yourself. We all have friends who can be moody and head strong to a fault. For so long, I had no idea how to deal with friends who without knowing would say something rude or become extremely moody. So, I started standing up for myself and every time they were moody I would just maintain a positive attitude or if I said something they reacted to, I would stand my ground. With friends and family, it can be really hard to do this and people would never think that standing up for yourself would bring about more positivity, but it does! You never realize how much other people’s words or actions affects you. For me, this has been such a slow process, but it has made me more positive.
4. Think Of The Good Things. This is a lot like think positive, which I said I wouldn't write about but instead I will say think good. I was the kind of person that would say only bad things will happen to me. For some reason, I thought good things wouldn't happen to me or for me. An example was being single. I have been single for a long time and I find dating really difficult and I hate online dating too. I have spent the past decade, looking at my friends go through boyfriends, getting married, moving in together, having babies, and none of that stuff had happened for me...yet. And I thought why? Why is it that this good thing won’t happen for me, am I ugly? Am I too fat? And one thought that plagued me was, I am not good enough. And I held on to this for so long. And these negative thoughts ate me up inside and made me so unhappy. I have slowly decided that I am good enough, which took me 2 years and 9 months to believe and when I see my friends with their boyfriends, I no longer think why not me, instead I think of how happy I am for them (this took so much practice); and how sooner rather than later, I will find the right guy for me. I can’t tell you how much happier I am by thinking good thoughts and by deciding that I am worthy and by realizing that my self-worth is not about being in a relationship but by learning to love myself. Are you rolling your eyes yet?...let me know.
5. Positivity Is Hard Work. As I said at the beginning of this post, being positive is not easy. It also doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. My first real step to positivity was one I took without realizing. I went to therapy a few years ago, where my therapist told me, I have an all or nothing approach to life (which I did). For example, I either want a 100, 000 dollar wedding or no wedding at all. I don’t do this or think this anymore, because it is stupid to see the world that way. I also learned that negative thought were second nature to me. I have really tried in the past few months to be a positive person and to think positive things; but it is an everyday process and it is something that I know I will have to work on. I am now moving towards a more happier and positive life.
So there it is, I really tried to be as honest as I could in this post because I think it is so important. I hope this really has helped you in taking your first step towards positivity!
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**This article was originally publish in June 2017**