How To Handle Other People's Success, Especially, If Things Aren't Going Well For You.
Career Success: This is the hardest kind of success for people to handle. We have all been there when we are struggling to get a job....any job really and yet we can't seem to land one, but everyone on Instagram has the best job ever. Especially, the jobs were they make real good money and get to do cool things. Seeing this can be tough especially, when you can't seem to even get one simple job interview. How do you handle this? Well fake it till you make it. I was working retail at a computer store that killed my soul, while everyone I knew had the best job ever. So, I learned to fake being happy for others and also learned that being sad for myself didn't mean I was unhappy for people in my life. Honestly, seeing other people having great careers, while you are broke, jobless, or stuck in a awful job can be really painful, so fake happiness until it comes naturally.
Romantic/Relationship Success: I went to five weddings last year. FIVE WEDDINGS! Before that, I didn't go to a wedding at all. I just turned 28...omg, I can't even! Even though I am 28 and single, and I mean really really really single; it was hard to see others in relationships. I will admit this is the kind of success that I am still working on. I will admit that I had moments of sadness, when I saw my friends in relationships. Let's just say I felt awful, and the struggle was real as I tried to be happy for those in my life that had reached romantic success. As I am still dealing with this, my biggest tip is understanding that being alone is not all that bad and love come when it does. You can't force it and what I found is that naturally you are just happy for those in love. Last summer, I was so worried that going to these weddings would make me miserable because I was single but when I was there, I was so happy for each couple that I was shocked that there wasn't an ounce of jealousy in me.
Financial Success: Who has credit card debt and student loans to pay off? Me! I will be honest, I have been so strapped for cash that sometimes I was living on $20 dollars worth of groceries a week, sneaking on to the transit because I literally couldn't afford anything! So, I know how it feels to look at people going on trips, going out, shopping, and doing everything that money can buy. This is hard because being broke is a deeply personal thing, just like not having a job. It is a weird thing that really gets to you and makes you feel like a failure even though you are not. How to deal with it? Deal with it however you want because this shit is hard. One thing that I have learnt from going through this is that someone's success does not mean you are a failure. This is really important because when you're struggling with money, it can make you feel super alone and make you feel like a failure but that is far from the truth. Remember to take a step back and know that this won't last forever.
Travel/Life Success: I think travel is the biggest form success people have a hard time dealing with. We all have people we follow that are constantly Instagramming their trips here and their trips there. These photos are amazing and they seem to be having so much fun! One thing I have learned is people who are constantly posting their trips are rarely having fun. Think about it, if you are super into a trip and having fun, would you be posting every second of it, no! How to deal with this kind of success? Delete, delete, delete! This is when you should go off social media, because I find that people are super into other people's travels and it is something that can get people down, so don't go on social media and if you're gonna go on it, don't follow the people who are constantly jet setting. Unless, you feel inspired, then by all means, you do you, girl!
Family Success: I am not at the stage in my life where I want to start a family, so I haven't really thought about this. But I have read so many articles of people who are struggling to conceive and find it hard when their friends get pregnant easily or have children. I think wanting to be a parent is an amazing thing, to know you want to love and take care of another human is amazing. I can only imagine the hardship and heartbreak that comes with trying to conceive. Well, here's a tip I think you can do. If seeing others pregnancies on social media is hard, I suggest unfollowing or not engaging with that content. Because let's be honest, seeing others succeed in this area can be difficult when you are struggling. Especially if you are trying and being positive. I know conceiving is a tricky thing and seeing others get pregnant easily can be hard; so just don't follow or engage with it.
Here's a video on handling setbacks and failures in life! I found that these tips really got me through some very difficult times! Have a watch!
*Originally published In June 2018*