Here's To Love!
I don’t really ever talk about love on this blog or religion because it's so personal. But lately, I have been thinking about love and all the pressures that go along with it. The thing is, when you hit the 25 year old mark, the questions start. Are you in a relationship? Do you want kids? When are you going to get married? And my favourite one, you’re getting old, you should start settling down. The thing is relationships are hard, especially when you’re a weirdo like myself. I will admit, I haven’t had a stable or long term relationship…please don’t tell my mother or father. I will also admit, that I no longer have anxiety around love anymore. I use to be the kind of girl who hated being single, the kind of girl that felt like a total loser because I wasn't in relationship.
"There is so much more!"
From the age of 13-25, my sole goal in life was to get a boyfriend. That’s all I wanted in life and I believed that I would be happy once I got it. And I will tell you a secret, a few years ago, I lost like 35 pounds, mostly because I thought the guy I liked would finally want me if I wasn’t fat and gross as I used to call myself…I know, how awful. But the way I lost that weight was not the most healthiest, I would exercise 4 hours a day and eat less than 1500 calories, and what got me through that, was that guy and that magical and idealistic relationship I had made up in my head. You know what? After 35 pounds, I still felt shit about myself, I was still insecure and the kicker was, that guy didn’t even notice me, lol...I can laugh about it now.
The thing is, we live in a culture that makes being in a relationship magical and great. This culture makes marriage and relationship the end goal of life when there is so much more. Don’t get me wrong, I want love, I want all of it, the best parts, the difficult parts, the ups and the downs of it. I want a commitment and I want to work hard on a relationship, but no one ever tells you that relationships aren't easy and if they do, they are rarely as honest as they should be. The difficult parts are often hidden. But sometimes, we also know when love is right in front us. I will let you on another little secret, I have known who I would marry for a long time, and yes all my friends think I am crazy because the possibility of it is so slim . And yes, you guess right, it’s Edward Cullen... lol, nope! But I believe in soulmates and I think most people don’t end up with their perfect person because they are so busy going through the motions of life.
"I would rather wait for the right persoN."
I think it’s okay to wait for love. I feel like we rush into relationships so easily and so fast and often we go into the motions of “life”; meet someone, date a year or two, move in, get engaged, get married, have kids, get divorce, or stay in an unhappy marriage. And this starts the moment we hit our mid 20’s, we are rushed into relationships and we go with the motions because that’s what we are supposed to do and most importantly, we are all very afraid of being left behind. I know I was and sometimes, I still get a little bit afraid that I haven't found that right guy. Let's face it, no one wants to be left behind and it feels awful not be in a relationship sometimes. But I would rather wait for the right person than spend years with the wrong person.
You know that friend or family member who is in a relationship, that doesn’t make them happy, they aren’t particularly unhappy but they are just following the steps of “life” going through the motions? No one should do that or be in that. Just wait for the right person, see who else or what else is out there. Don’t settle, even when everyone and everything is telling you to. Life is too short to waste it in a loveless relationship or marriage.
"So here’s to love!"
So basically, what I’m saying to myself and you, is that love isn’t the end all be all, even though it is great, that our end goal isn’t marriage because there are other things. But most importantly, it is okay to wait for love or the right love for you. There’s no need to rush into anything. That real love, love that is strong and solid, often happens in the simplest and best of ways, in that kind of love, there is never a need to rush anything.
So here’s to love!
Wanna watch a video? I did a baby name challenge and talked about all the names I like and dislike. Have a watch!!