5 Things I Have Learned Since My Friend Had A Baby
One of friends had a baby when I was around 25 and it changed everything. There is nothing like seeing your friend bring a life into this world and there is nothing more crazier then seeing someone you have known since you were 12 become a mother. It is truly an astonishing sight. With all these amazing moments, I have learned a few things a long the way.
Making Plans: Making plans is a big deal, there are no last minute get togethers. You have to make sure to plan ahead so they can secure child care and you have to be open with having no child-care coming through; so either the plan is canceled or it’s a night in with the baby and your friend. But if they get child-care, you better not cancel! Your friend wants to desperately hangout, so, even if the babysitter doesn't come through don't cancel unless they want to. Major lesson, plan ahead and learn to go with the flow.
Caring About Their Babies & Their Lives: As much as a new mom doesn't want to admit this, they want their friends to care deeply about their babies and their new life. They want you to ask questions about their baby and about what they are going through. For me, I had no idea what questions to ask and I will admit as much as I like babies, I like them from a far, so I wasn't as interested as I should have been. But what I learned was to show interest and ask questions and most importantly listen. New moms really need emotional support and friends to depend on! So, it is important to be open and attentive in the beginning stages of their new lives.
They Still Want To Be Included: I think this is the one thing that caught me by surprise. Even after having a baby, my friend still wanted to be invited and included on the things we did. I found this difficult because the thing is-your friends aren't the same after they have a baby and the baby is attached at their hip and therefore, you can't always invited them. I will say that traveling with kids and going on vacations with a friend's child is tough and by no means easy at all; but sometimes, you just have to see it not as a vacation but a trip that will have lots of stops. Most importantly- your friend will be happy to be included and invited along and it means that your trips are never the same again but you have to be okay with it. Honestly, as a friend you have to make concessions and be really understanding when creating events and planning trips with friends and their babies. It isn’t easy but it is still fun and gives you a whole new perspective on life.
They Still Want To Be Your Friend: Once your friend has a baby, you think- you are a mom and that is it. But they want to be in on the gossip and they want to be updated on your life. I think most of the time they want you to treat them the same and act like things never changed in your friendship and this can be hard; but if your friend is putting effort then meet her half way. Honestly, it is important to maintain the same level of friendship with your friend even though it might be difficult! Remember that they have a whole new human to care for, so make sure to step up and just be their friend!
Don't Comment On Their Parenting: This is one that is really hard for me because I had to learn not to do it. Just like any aspect of life, no one wants to have other people's opinion on how they live their life, let alone how they raise their children. To be honest, this can be tough because when your friend's kids misbehaves and and there is no discipline- it's easy to jump in but each parent has a system and they knows exactly what they are doing. Remember that you might have ideas about children and parenting but you really know nothing unless you are a parent yourself!
So there you go, the five things I have learned since my friend had a baby!
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