7 New Year Resolutions You Shouldn't Make In 2019

 2019 is approaching very closely and I have started making my New Years Resolutions. But there are some New Year Resolutions you should not never make. I have gathered a few that I think always set us up for failure.

Losing Weight: When you google New Years Resolutions, the related searches are weight lost and loosing weight. Why is that? Why is it that every year we make a choice to torture ourselves and waste money on diets that don't work.Why do we put ourselves through two months of self doubt and self hatred? You don't need to loose weight, try and figure out why you want to loose weight and how you can make healthier choices.

Finding Love: Every New Years Eve, I would convince myself that the next coming year would be the year of love; like somehow love would just appear at my door step. And every year, I would be disappointed. Love is also about having realistic expectation of certain dating apps, you can't find love where everyone just wants to hookup. When you idealize romance and love, the reality of it always falls short.

Acceptance From Others: People normally phrase this as being a "better person" but often I think it means having more people like you. We all need to be liked, I get that, but how about working on accepting ourselves, our faults, our beauty, and frankly who really are; because if we don't love ourselves, no one will love us.

Wealth: Figuring out your money issues are important. It is a lesson I am learning everyday as a freelance writer, who is working part-time and running a blog as a business. I make almost no money. But, I find that when I talk to my friends about careers, we always go back to making more money. Although it is important to have financial wealth, it is important to understand how money works, it is important to meet with a financial advisor, and make plans for financial security, instead of wealth. This year, I make a promise to myself to do just that.

Perfection: This one is very interesting because it is mostly phrased as, "I want to dress better", "I want to look better", "I want to be a good person", "I want to be more kind". But really what we are saying is, I want to be perfect, which on one is and no one will ever be. It is this enormous amount of pressure we put on ourselves to be anything but what we really are.

Be Happy: I have to say this is my least favorite. Happiness is such a complex emotion. It is not easy to be happy. Saying you want to be happy next year doesn't make it happen. Life happens and shit happens. Life has a way of playing with our emotions. When you have this goal to be "happy", you often don't know how to deal with the sadness and the tough times that life can throw at you. Because we have this need to be happy, we often do not process our emotions which leads us to be more unhappy. This unhappiness confuses us and tricks into thinking we are incapable of happiness. Achieving happiness is allowing yourself to feel what you feel, allowing yourself to process your life, seeking help when you need it, and knowing that happiness is a complex emotion that has many different facets.

Watch Less TV/NetFlix and Reading More Books: As someone who loves both of these activities, I think it is interesting when people make the resolution to watch less TV. Television is one of the best inventions. I learned how to speak and read English by watching TV. I went on so many adventures and met so many amazing characters by watching television. It is an activity I would never give up. With that being said, it is important to have a balance in what you watch. It is not the quantity or even the  quality of the shows you watch, but the balance. For example, if you are going to watch "Keeping Up With Kardashians" maybe you should watch a Ted Talk or a gripping drama. It is not that you have to, but there are some shows that we watch to pass the time and there are those griping shows that allow us to think and see the world in a brand new way. I encourage you to watch something that you normally wouldn’t or a television genre that you normally ignore. 

What New Years Resolutions are you making in 2019? Share them below!!

**Originally published December 2017*

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