10 Reasons Why It’s Okay To Be The Bitch That Brought It

Growing up what I wanted most was to be liked. Everyone wants to be popular and  wants to be the most liked. I want everyone at work to like me, at school, even the cashier at the grocery store. Especially as women, we are taught at a very young age to be  people pleasers and to always be polite. To be nice even when someone is being rude, to let someone get their way even if you’re right. To agree when you disagree, to smile and act comfortable when you’re not, to be seen and not heard.

The idea of not being liked was scary to me. This past year, I have been confronted by what it means to be the woman society wants me to be and how disappointing it is when I go against that. I’m in an environment where being who I am means not being the girl society wants me to be. As such, I have learned to adapt, and adapting means growing a tougher skin and becoming real with the people around me, and also myself.

Understanding that if I am to stand my ground, have a voice, and an opinion, I will sometimes have to be a bitch. And men don’t like bitches.  This is not the word I would use to describe myself, but this is the word that is used to describe me, and if not a bitch, then bossy, loud, opinionated, rude, and sassy. I am not embracing the word bitch but here are 10 things I have learned.


1. Be yourself and be your true self. And if this makes you uncomfortable, question why being fake is more comfortable to you than being who you are.

2. Don’t smile if you don’t want to and say no if you don’t want to do something. Trust me, it’s okay.

3. Speak up! You have thoughts and ideas, share them because they are important. Demand respect and equality in all things. Demand these two things in your personal life and professional life.

4. Know that it is okay not to be liked. Even if it hurts your feelings, know that those who really know you, will like you for who you really are.

5. It’s okay not to like others. You don’t have to be mean or disrespectful, but its okay not to have a conversation with someone at the lunch table if you want to catch up on your show or read a book.

6. People will call you out.They may say you’re “this” or “that”, know who you are and voice it.

7. You have to be okay with being a loaner because when you speak up, you might be going against the grain and people hate that. It makes them uncomfortable, and the way the deal with it, is by ignoring you.

8. Don’t waste your time being fake, or have boring conversation with people who are boring. Don’t laugh at jokes that aren’t funny because that hot guy told it. Laugh when something really makes you laugh.

9. Meet people where they are at. This is so important! I find that some people are uncomfortable with a woman who knows herself and is willing to speak up. People are often ready to attack or point a finger in your direction. Know your weakness so that people can’t use it against you. People are so quick to judge others and call them out. Don’t let this scare you. Stand up for yourself.

10. Don’t apologize for something that is not your fault. Don’t say sorry when you haven’t done anything wrong. Know when to apologize, don’t be stubborn. If you’re wrong then face your mistakes. Always apologize when you have done something wrong.

This was a bit of a different post and I hope you liked it. Sometimes, a girl has got to say what’s on her mind.

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*This article was originally published on November 14th, 2016*